Last update: January 03, 2017
Strange as it may seem, sometimes helping others solve their problems can be a great solution for ours. Depression, social anxiety and many other symptoms or disorders can disappear when we stop focusing only on ourselves and break the barriers that separate us from others.
Contrary to what one would expect, moreover, on many occasions it is easier to help strangers than it is to help people who are part of our social circle. If we suffer from depression or are consumed by anxiety, it is very likely that the fear that grips us is still linked to our closest social circle.
“To love is not just to love; it is above all understanding. "
–Françoise Sagan–
With strangers you can enjoy great freedom. They don't know us and vice versa. There are no expectations, there is no preconstructed image, nor a million tests to submit the other to before accepting it. There is no shared past that conditions nor a present that chains. Incredible as it may seem, from a certain point of view with strangers it is easier for us to show ourselves in our authenticity.
Hannah Brencher and her history with strangers
Hannah Brencher, having finished her studies and obtained her degree, she moved to New York. She needed a change because she felt totally overwhelmed by feelings of anxiety and depression. Her sadness seemed inconsolable until she began to do something unusual: write love letters to strangers, anonymously.
Hannah began all her letters with this sentence: "If you found this letter, it's for you". And inside it shared messages like this: We don't know each other. We never sat and laughed over a cup of coffee. We never danced in the same clubs or yawned together at midnight. None of this interests me. Because it's so small and insignificant compared to the things I'd like you to know: you're wonderful. You are important. Your hands are meant for great things.
The woman left her letters in restaurants, parks, buses and even the UN headquarters, available to any stranger. In writing to her, she simply focused on all the love she herself would have liked to receive. She thought of the words she wanted to hear. It was as if she fell in love with those strangers, and then declared her love for her to them through those letters.
After writing several letters, Hanna realized that by ceasing to focus on herself, her pain and sense of loneliness were gone. But she was not the only one in the world to realize that it is possible to rediscover the will to live by helping strangers, to the point of making them a fundamental part of one's life.
Depression and helping strangers
How come helping strangers is a way to help yourself when you're suffering from depression or anxiety? The answer is not simple, but it has to do with the fact that those who suffer emotionally tend to isolate themselves. And in doing so, it only adds to all of his symptoms and problems.
Everything is linked to the image of inability and vulnerability that develops when you have emotional problems. When it happens, we are all convinced that we are good for nothing, that we are capable of very little and that we are not worth much. There is also a feeling of emotional lack that cannot be filled by anything or anyone. This turns into a vicious circle: sadness leads to isolation and isolation to sadness. By breaking this circle, everything begins to appear in a different light.
One of the beliefs of those suffering from these neurological problems is "what happens to me does not happen to anyone else". This is the big lie of those with emotional problems. The subject fails to understand that every human being has his weight on his shoulders and that sooner or later in life we ​​all have to face moments of great suffering.
By helping strangers, this belief begins to waver. We put ourselves in a position of understanding towards others which ultimately serves to understand what is happening to us.
Thanks to a study recently conducted in the United Kingdom, it was possible to verify that those who do altruistic jobs or interact with unknown people at least twice a week manage to overcome their problems of anxiety and depression in a surprising way. This activity also contributes to developing a better self-image, and to nurturing a feeling of personal pride. Why not try to help us by helping others? It is a wonderful proof of love for life.
