Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
Honest people don't always try to please others. They can't stand hypocrisy and that's why they always use the only tool they believe in to communicate: sincerity. They are authentic people and firm in their principles and, although they can often be unpleasant, they are able to create strong and lasting bonds with those who deserve it.
We often hear that truth is the most important gift and that it must be defended at all costs. Yet when someone decides to speak honestly, they are criticized and belittled. It is not easy to make our thoughts and actions consistent. Very often, aware of what we are feeling, we end up communicating the opposite idea. We do this in order not to feel the center of attention, for fear of hurting others or because of social pressure.
This is why honest people are unique. They are courageous and clearly demonstrate a willingness to be consistent with their thoughts. Few social and psychological values ​​are necessary such as honesty, which Thomas Jefferson considers the first chapter of wisdom and Mark Twain defines the best forgotten art.
We all know that honesty is a quality we demand of others. Thanks to it we can build relationships based on trust. We feel the need to know that the person we are in front of or the one we love or respect, such as a co-worker or friend, is sincere and honest towards us.
Honesty is a very dear gift. Don't expect that from bad people.
-Warren Buffett-
How to recognize honest people
Honest people don't wear banners or t-shirts to brag. It is up to us to know how to recognize them. A good way to do this is to listen, connect and observe those around us, always taking into account that honesty knows no justification. Let's see some features that distinguish them.They don't waste time with people they don't respect
The Julius-Maximilians University of Würzburg, in Germany, has carried out a study to investigate this topic. The first aspect revealed is that honest people save time in their conversations. They don't go around the subject, they don't waste time with things or people they don't like or who don't agree with their values. They highlight the differences with assertiveness and respect, distancing themselves.
When they do, they neither give nor expect too many excuses. They know that it is useless to prolong situations which, over time, turn out to be counterproductive.
They neither tell nor tolerate lies
Dan Ariely, Professor of Psychology, is the author of an interesting book called How We Lie to Everyone-Especially Ourselves.
According to the author, we all consider ourselves honest people. It doesn't matter if we lie or if what we think and what we do don't match. We almost always have an impeccable idea of ​​ourselves, in which honesty is rarely lacking.
Honest people, those who think, speak and act in harmony, do not tolerate being deceived, just as they do not deceive others. They don't lie because doing so causes them a cognitive dissonance that affects their identity and self-esteem.
Relaxed personalities, calm minds
Honest people are happier and have better health. This is what Anita E. Kelly, professor of psychology at the University of Notre Dame in Paris, says. According to her study, being honest, not lying and showing transparency in what you say and do generates greater well-being. This internal balance, this peace of mind, translates into a better state of health.
They know how to build deeper relationships
Dishonesty and lack of integrity are too much effort for honest people. Cognitive dissonance generates in them malaise, tension and discomfort. For this reason, their priority is to build relationships based on trust. Not only do they always show sincere, authentic and respectful to those around them, but they demand the same treatment from others.
As a result, they don't always have a large number of friends. Nonetheless, the few people they care about are always the most adequate and sincere, since reciprocity is continuous and satisfying.
