Last update: December 15, 2015
In all relationships in which there is affection, whether it is love for one's partner, for children and even for friends, the right balance must be created between “mine and yours”, between “my needs and yours”.
It seems like a complex process, but in reality the magic of all healthy and intact human relationships lies in respecting and offering the best to the other, while taking care of yourself.
Offering wings to fly means allowing the loved one to choose their own spaces, cultivate their passions and develop the “I” necessary to achieve personal wholeness every day. If that person is happy with themselves, that positive energy will reflect on you as well. Together it is created, respecting its own spaces and needs, while "taking root".
Taking root in our emotional relationships does not mean "dominating" or "controlling" at all. Nourishing the roots means cultivating daily affection, respect and love to create a single unity. It is what unites, it is the root that is created together and which, in turn, makes it grow by transforming two individuals into a single one.
“In love I want wings to fly and roots to grow”. While it is true that there are people who tend to adopt one dimension or another on a personal level, authentic happiness in our social and emotional relationships is undoubtedly found in that "magical" balance.
Today we talk about this.
Wings to fly and roots to grow in emotional relationships
Let's start by talking about couple relationships and invite you to do a simple one reflection. In your present or past relationship you are or have been able to to grow up as people? Share those ties you can offer freedom and, at the same time, protection or complicity?
If this is not your case, if there is not one in the couple growth in harmony able to develop over time and with the needs of each of them, the roots weaken. Personal frustration then appears, a negative feeling that, in the end, is projected not only on one of the two partners, but also on the other.
In these cases we speak of "Growth not in harmony". These are cases in which either the needs of only one of the partners are prioritized or the relationship itself has remained immobile, focusing only on taking root for the couple and not on the individual growth of the members that compose it.
An example? We start a relationship full of emotions and intense passion. We focus so much on each other that we abandon friendships, to the point that both of us bothers "Get out of that sphere" of intimacy that we have created.
Over time, these relationships turn into black holes that feed themselves and destroy themselves.
It is therefore essential to take these dimensions into account to maintain the right BALANCE:
1. Individual growth
- I have to be self-conscious, here and now, what I need.
- I am the responsible of my personal growth.
- I have to enrich myself with everything around me, with everyday experiences, conversations, travels, readings, everything life has to offer me and, of course, my partner too.
2. Growth of the couple
- My personal growth has repercussions on the growth of the couple. If I am happy and satisfied with myself, with what I have and how I see myself, I will be able to give all these positive emotions to the people I care about.
- It is necessary to maintain a continuous dialogue on our growth, because all couples need to renew their ties with the passage of time and the appearance of new situations (the birth of children, changes or losses at work…).
- We have to keep a balance between individual and common goals, offering us mutual help, making our roots grow and, at the same time, giving us “a pair of wings”.
Wings to fly and roots to grow in children's education
To raise happy children, you must give them wings to fly, roots to return to you and the security that they will always have someone by their side, in every step they take towards the responsible and independent person they will become.
We often talk in our space about avoiding attachments in order to enjoy emotional freedom. Even if it is true that they exist toxic attachments that bind us to things to such an extent that they end up dominating us, it is essential to understand that these are part of the roots themselves.
We are talking about those healthy attachments that children establish with their parents to form bonds. These bonds represent safety for them, and give us the opportunity to give it air, life and confidence to spread their wings and fly wherever they want to go.
Where their hearts and their needs will take them, always knowing that they can rely on their roots, a safe haven that offers them an eternal origin and protection, no matter where their dreams fly… their life.
Right there lies the magic of balance, in offering love to those who make us fly and, at the same time, grow.
Images courtesy of Amanda Clarke and Lesya Nedzelskaya.
