Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: December 14, 2021
Erase from your head the idea that you absolutely want to let go of everything that is tormenting you, because if you do not succeed, you will be even more distressed. Don't feel guilty and don't think you are clumsy with your emotions, realize that you are struggling with yourself.
If you manage to win the battle, you will be both winners and losers; you can't afford it. In other words, if you grab hard on what you want to get rid of, something inside you will suffer.
Allow your emotions to teach you what they have to teach you and don't try to imprison them. If you accept yourself, whether you lose or win, you will still be a winner.
“Let go of the idea of 'letting go'. (And let go of not being able to "let go").
Just let the moment go as it should or not.
And what remains after "letting go"? "
(Jeff Foster)
Do not torture yourself: every feeling has its moment
Don't torture yourself into thinking you have to let go at all costs. Many times, for example, we cannot stop appreciating a part of toxic people.
Sometimes, we have reasons to want someone who has hurt us to stay close to us. Other times, we simply can't find valid reasons to let go. It may also happen that, despite everything playing in our favor, we do not succeed.
No matter what your situation is, remember that everyone has their own times. Don't be afraid of yourself: never letting go will NEVER be a sign of weakness, but a way of learning to take the time to not dramatize an end.
Only those who are lost can find themselves
It is normal to want what hurts us to come out of our life, but not to want to hear the lessons that come from these things that are harmful to us is a mistake. If we don't listen and accept, our "letting go" will remain a mere purpose.
Sometimes we are unable to let go of what hurts us. This distresses us even more and, as a result, we screw up all the emotional work we should be undertaking; therefore, we end up thinking that we will never be able to live fully.
Suddenly letting go means starting suddenly, and the jerk will surely hurt us. We need to take some time to hold our breath and find an uncontaminated air bubble.
“Love brings suffering, because it can be lost, but denying oneself to love to avoid suffering does not solve the problem, since one suffers for not having it. If happiness is love and love is suffering, then I say that happiness is also suffering ”.
(Sonia, in Love and War, by Woody Allen)
Embrace your angels and your demons
You will learn to let go by abandoning everything you thought you knew, in order to reconcile with your reflection in the mirror.. You will realize that every emotion and feeling is an adorable little creature that must be treated with respect and tact.
Don't worry, but don't ignore yourself: keep your own pace and evaluate, without distracting you, the pros and cons of each situation. Offer your feelings a place within you where they can breathe and feel safe.
Express them. Count to three and feel them. Your emotions are not a punishment, nor are they something you have to give up. If you try to imprison them, their mere presence will distress you, you will feel anxious and broken.
Think that everything around you you owe it to yourself and to the filters through which you pass your reality. Let your emotions out and don't try to sedate them: if you will tend to listen to them, they themselves will calm down and try to communicate with you.
You can't play hide and seek with feelings. Listen to the echo of your heart in your mind, palpitate with life and do not limit your emotions. Accept and flow: the moment to live is the present one.
Images courtesy of Benjamin Lacombe and Nicoleta Ceccoli
