Last update: 08 September, 2016
Love has and will always have a limit which is called dignity. Because self-respect has a very high price, which does not allow for discounts, with which to satiate a love that does not fill, that wounds and weakens.
Pablo Neruda said “love is so short and oblivion is so long”. In the middle there is always the light of a firefly that turns on by nature in the dark nights, to show us the limit, to remind us that a long oblivion is better than a long torment in which we end up selling our dignity.
Sometimes there is no other remedy than to forget your feelings to remind yourself of what we are worth. Because dignity is not lost for anyone, because love is not begged or begged; it is true that one must never lose a love for pride, but not even dignity for love.
Believe it or not, dignity is that fragile and delicate thread that we often put in danger, which risks wearing down to the point of breaking the bonds of our emotional relationships. It is very common to cross this frontier without wanting to, to the point of allowing ourselves to be taken to an extreme where our moral limits are weakened; we think that for love it is worth doing everything and that every renunciation is small and justified.
Because love and dignity are two currents in a stormy ocean that even the most experienced sailor can get lost in.
The pride and dignity of self-love
It is often said that pride is fueled by the ego and dignity by the spirit. However, these two psychological dimensions are two daily inhabitants of the turbulent islands of emotional relationships and are often confused with each other.
Pride, for example, is a famous enemy that we tend to associate with self-love. In reality pride is more: he is an architect specializing in the construction of walls, in the weaving of dividing curtains in our relationships, in adding arrogance to every word and in the cultivation of victimhood. All of these destructive acts mask low self-esteem.
For its part, dignity is quite the opposite. It always acts by listening to the voice of our ego to guarantee the existence of the most beautiful things in the human being, such as respect for oneself and for others. The concept of self-love acquires its maximum meaning, because dignity is nourished by it to protect oneself and affirm self-esteem, but without ever harming others, without causing side effects.
Dignity has a very high price
Dignity is not sold, it is not lost and it is not given away. Because a defeat at the right time is always more worthy of an unattended victory. Maybe we come out of the battle with whole hearts and with our heads held high, but sadness will infect the days to come and hopes.
People tend to think that there is nothing worse than being abandoned by someone they love; It is not so: the most terrible thing is to lose yourself by loving someone who does not correspond to us.
In a healthy and dignified love there is no place for martyrs and renunciations, it is not said that everything is fine just because you have your partner next to you. In reality, in this case, we are not close to him, but we live in his shadow, in a space where there is no sun for our heart or air for our hopes.
To avoid being a victim of these confused emotional currents, it is good to reflect on the following issues, which can be of great help to you:
- In emotional relationships, sacrifices have limits that must be pointed out. We are not obliged to find a solution to all our partner's problems, to offer him our air for him to breathe and to dim our light so that his can shine. Remember that the real limit is dignity.
- Love is felt, touched and created day by day. If we do not receive any, it will be useless to ask for it or even to wait seated, waiting for an absurd miracle. Accepting that they no longer love us is an act of courage that will spare us extreme and destructive situations.
- Love must never be blind. As much as you may like this saying, you must remember that it is always best to offer yourself to someone with eyes wide open, a burning heart and a very high dignity. Only then will you be true craftsmen of healthy, important relationships, in which one respects and is respected, in which a healthy scenario is created every day without power plays and irrational sacrifices, in which not everything is accepted without conditions.
Dignity is and always will be the recognition of our merits and we always deserve the best. A worthy solitude is always better than a life full of deficiencies, of incomplete relationships that make us believe we are secondary actors in our own theater. We must not allow it, dignity is not lost for anyone.
