Last update: January 05, 2016
We hear more and more often about "emotional intelligence", a sister-in-law expression of the psychologist Daniel Golemann. But what does emotional intelligence mean? And how can we apply it to our daily life?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand our emotions and those of others in a balanced way, thus being able to solve our problems without the world collapsing on us. Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage our emotions.
I should have more emotional intelligence
“I worry about everything. If I have work to do, the stress suffocates me, if I don't have it, I sink into despair. If I don't have a partner, I feel lonely, but when I do, I think we should give ourselves more space. If I don't go out with friends, I feel depressed and bored, but if I go out, I feel like I don't feel good in any group.
I always complain about everything and nothing suits me. I'm not happy, but I'm starting to think it's because I don't want it. Why am I drowning in a glass of water even in the face of the smallest problem? Why can't I see the glass half full? Why am I exaggerating even the small everyday problems that other people take with irony? How can I change my attitude? "
Why should we have greater emotional intelligence? Simply put, simply because it will make us happier. And what is the meaning of life, if not to be happy? Of course we will have to overcome difficulties, life will not always smile at us, but, if we want it, we have the power to turn black into white and be happier.
How to do it? By developing our level of emotional intelligence, learning to manage our emotions, both when we are with others and alone with ourselves, taking responsibility for those emotions and becoming aware of the fact that we can direct them towards our well-being or malaise.
8 ideas to boost your emotional intelligence day after day
Here are some ideas that you can put into practice every day to develop your emotional intelligence with practice. Try it, they will surprise you!
1. Be prepared to improve emotionally. If we don't do our part, change is impossible. Nobody can help us quit smoking or lose weight if we're not well predisposed. Emotional intelligence works the same way and, as the saying goes, "wanting is power"!
2. Learn to accept things even if they don't go well. Look for the positive side of everything that happens to you. Have you lost your job, a friend, a loved one? Don't worry too much, think that all the bad times sooner or later pass, and that life will surprise you with new opportunities.
3. Don't torture yourself with negative thoughts. Entering the spiral of negativity is useless. Think about it: Does negative thinking solve something? Learn to tell yourselves enough. Put on some music, dance, talk to friends, distract your mind when he plays tricks on you.
4. Be open towards others, it is important to be empathetic. Don't censor them unreservedly, try to understand them. Pretending that everyone is what you want is a losing and meaningless battle. Look for the positive side of people, we all have defects and virtues.
5. When you feel down in the dumps, look for someone who can give you peace and serenity. Certainly there are people next to you who have the ability to make you see things more positively when you are sad. Seek them, seek their words, and be grateful for their friendship.
6. Listen to your body, it will help you identify many of your feelings. Did you feel your stomach tighten when you got bad news? Does a new situation make you a little nauseous? You will find that your body is the first to identify the emotions you feel, and it will help you understand and even transform them. Learn to breathe, to calm down, etc.
7. Don't take things too hard. If you think about it, we are all passing through this life: so why not try to take things with more serenity? If the boss is unbearable today is his problem, don't let it affect your mood; if you can't stand that new guy who has started dating your group, ignore him, don't let him ruin your friendship with others.
8. Resolve conflicts with others in a positive way. Only through dialogue can you understand others. When you have a problem with someone, try to solve it in the best way, by talking about it and exposing your point of view. If you feel that this is a negative person and that it is impossible to reason with her / him, walk away without raising her voice.
If you want to be happy, then, all you need is the desire to commit yourself and put these tips into practice, which will make you see life in a different way. Train your emotional intelligence and discover its benefits every day, both for yourself and for your relationships. What are you waiting for?
Images courtesy of Lunático Khoa Le
