Last update: 03 March, 2016
Example can be, without a doubt, the best teaching method. However, practicing it honestly and decisively, in the most correct and suitable way, is very difficult. But know that the effort is worth it, because example can give substance to more than one life, including yours.
Come disse Stephan Covey, “your actions speak louder and clearer than your words". Because the facts are the concretization of what is said and why to say one thing and then do another means losing credibility. If you don't internalize what you say, your words will never come true.
"Leading by example is not a way to influence others: it is THE way".
(Albert Einstein)
In primo luogo, you have to be very convinced of what you want to be and do, then pass it on to others. Without this first and essential step, it is unlikely that you will be able to preach by example.
In this regard, the combination of brain-heart, reason-feeling is essential for you: it is not all thought, rationality and knowledge, just as it is not all emotion and affection. There is a need for head and logical understanding, but also for sensitivity and love.
If you are consistent, you will succeed
Certainly people tend to be receptive when faced with a coherent individual, or rather when they perceive that there is a coincidence between what he thinks, says and does. Everyone needs deeds more than words, actions more than rhetoric.
We often think and read for a long time, but then everything stays that way. There are ideas that seem very interesting to us, until we decide to put them into practice: that is the moment when we realize that "between saying and doing there is the sea". Words that do not turn into facts are like a tree that bears no fruit.
Obviously there is a need for people who are convinced of their actions. People who take risks, who focus on the growth of their life in every sense, that they are courageous, and not to attack or argue with others, but to make them grow in turn. This part is really difficult and complex.
There is no doubt that a father who wants to teach his son the value of respect and then mistreats his wife will fail from the start.
The same thing will happen to a person who tells lies and demands honesty from others: it is clear that he has not chosen the correct path. You cannot ask for what you are unable to give.
Nobody can teach someone else what they don't know and don't apply
People who represent an example are capable of changing their context and scenario of coexistence, that is the environment in which they are formed and developed. Often, these are anonymous leaders of existence, who help us grow as they grow themselves.
Why the true example is contagious: it shows us how we should be, it pushes us to imitate. It infects us just as if it were a disease, but in this case it does it to heal us, to make us stronger and more resistant to the misfortunes of life. And above all, it shows us that it is possible to be like this.
Unfortunately, when a person becomes an example to others, one becomes more demanding. Even the smallest negative detail can affect his image and the beautiful deeds he has done. People have a tendency to notice faults and mistakes more than virtues, even if the latter are much more notable than other things.
There are so many parents who try to educate their children without first educating themselves. They try to convey what has never been conveyed to them. And they make the mistake of teaching what they don't know.
In reality, each has within him a teacher and a pupil. We excel in some aspects of our life, but we also have shortcomings, contradictions and gaps that lead us to create inconsistency between our words and our actions.
It is true that there are exceptional beings capable of being highly coherent, who are able to put into practice all the ideas they have formulated in life. Gandhi is an example: he transformed himself into a role model and managed to take his beliefs so high as to change the history of a nation.
It is precisely of Gandhi that this story speaks:
“A woman went to visit Gandhi with her son. Gandhi asked her what she wanted and the woman asked him to make her son stop eating sugar.
Gandhi replied, "Bring your son back to me in two weeks."
Two weeks later, the woman returned with her son. Gandhi turned and said to the boy: 'Stop eating sugar. "
The surprised woman asked him: "Why did you make me wait two weeks to tell him this?" Couldn't he have told her a fortnight ago? "
Gandhi replied: 'No, because two weeks ago I ate sugar. "
Without a doubt, everything in life takes a process and time. You cannot reach your destination without having traveled all the way. Nothing we do to grow is useless; it is an unavoidable effort, which no one can do for us. The choice is ours and nobody else's.
Images courtesy of Lisa Fallon, Art Dk
