Last update: December 03, 2015
Absences hurt, but it is a pain that is mitigated and disappears with the passage of time; however, the pain of sharing our life with someone who harms us is long and intense. A friend, a family member, a partner can make our life bitter; it is up to us to decide to move away and live a full life.
If a person despises you, he does not love you; if he criticizes you for hurting you, he doesn't love you; if he insults you or mistreats you, he does not love you; if he ignores you or does not consider you, he does not love you. Isn't it better that such an individual is not present in your life? This would certainly be a real triumph.
"Don't worry about the people from your past: there's a reason they haven't made it to your future."
(Paulo Coelho)
People whose absence is a success
With some types of people it is good to put a healthy and therapeutic distance, a distance that makes us feel that we can live in a climate of well-being and safety even if we are ourselves. Below, we present some people whose absence represents a real triumph.
The pessimist
It can occur in various aspects of our life: among our friends, in a couple relationship, at work, etc. The first thing to do with these individuals is to identify them. These are people who do not stop complaining, everything goes wrong, everyone is against them, their passion is the reproach (without any foundation) towards others.
In reality, these people have low self-esteem and they love to convey their distress. Worrying is human, but this feeling should push you to seek a solution or help, it should be healthy and positive and not limiting. To grow and not get stuck, you need to find an opportunity in every situation.
The manipulator
A manipulator makes you believe that what's best for you is, coincidentally, what's best for him; in this way, it leads you to do things that you don't really want to do. He can handle emotions and makes use of this skill frequently; perfectly identifies your weaknesses to make you do what he wants.
For this reason, it is important to identify them right away. Be careful, a manipulator can have several faces: a person who is always a victim who makes you feel guilty for his misfortunes, an aggressive person who is better to please than to face, a person who uses your words to turn them into things you have not said, etc.
The possessive
A possessive prevents you from relating to other people, isolates you by making you believe that you will be better off. For him you are nothing more than an object among others, on which to have the exclusivity. He often tells you phrases like "you are mine"; it is better for this presence to turn into an absence, because no one has the right to possess you. You are people, not things, you have emotions and feelings, you live, breathe and relate to others, you are human beings.
The aggressive one
An aggressive person likes to argue and verbally assault, because that way he feels powerful. Aggression is its essence, a characteristic that has no explanation other than its insecurity and lack of self-esteem. Run away from such a person as soon as possible. Love and believe in yourself, do not allow anyone to despise you and make you feel inferior. You are people and, as such, different from others: neither better nor worse, simply unique.
"If being with someone involves the destruction of the self, then it is better to be alone".
(Walter Laughs)
Let the loneliness caress you
We are deeply convinced that, to be happy, we need other people in our life, a partner, a group of friends. Happiness, in reality, is internal: it touches each of us individually, it does not depend on third parties, only on ourselves.
There are people who have millions of friends and / or a partner and yet are tremendously unhappy, because they make their well-being dependent on others. Think of something that makes you happy, like cycling, writing, reading, etc. All of these things will continue to make you happy regardless of others, because the satisfaction you will feel in doing them is within you.
Let loneliness caress you, embrace you, allow you to know and accept yourself. Let it surround you and invade your life from time to time. Enjoy the silence, your intimate spaces, the walks while observing others and get lost in your thoughts. Thus, you will feel how the absence of harmful people represents a real triumph.
"Loneliness does not weaken me, but it strengthens me and fills me with a strange feeling that feeds me, talks to me at night, tells me stories, invented and truthful tales".
(Chavela Vargas)
