Last update: Augusts 20, 2016
Sometimes ignoring means responding intelligently. It is a wisdom that is acquired with time and experience and which, without any doubt, must be adapted to different situations. For what reason? Because we know all too well that our relationships are not always positive, despite our desires and our hopes.
Sometimes, therefore, ignoring is more a matter of emotional health and protecting our mental balance, rather than a conscious and thoughtful decision about how we conduct and observe the relationships we have with others.
Despite this, it is often not easy to understand that you are nurturing toxic bonds, in the hope of reaping an emotional reward that will never come. We sacrifice our well-being for harmful relationships that don't give us any positive emotions.
We must learn to ignore in order to be able to live in peace
For this reason, it is necessary to ignore the situations that worry us for no reason and to make a gift of our absence when our presence is not appreciated. Thus, in empty words, intelligent ears. But when?
- When criticism is not constructive and we have not asked anyone's opinion.
- When we notice that behind the actions or comments of others there are bad intentions.
- When those around us strive to create insecurity and frustration with our way of living life.
- When they make us worry about what is not in our control.
- When others exaggerate with their own elevation, with the clear intention of showing off their achievements and despising us.
- When they prevent us from growing and improving, due to their own interests or selfishness.
Ignore what is meant to annihilate you as a person
Words, comments, actions, feelings, emotions ... There are situations that, due to their hostility or their toxicity, can be highly harmful. Sometimes it is even possible that the emotional balance tilts towards our well-being and that suffering is inevitable.
Despite this, we must learn to manage distances, give our mind and body the opportunity to discharge and not self-cancel. It is possible to escape by working on the inner dialogue about what is blocking us.
Avoiding that what others have done or not done touches us is a real balm. It may not be easy at first, yet the results on your emotional health are noticeable quickly.
Forgiveness when others "exaggerate"
It's hard to forgive too many words or words that hurt and say in moments of anger or, as they say, when you are a hothead. There are even moments of euphoria that make our language run too much and that end up having terrible consequences.
This aspect is perfectly expressed in the story of a father who, faced with his son's incredulity, asks him to drive steel nails on a precious smooth wooden board, so as to be able to teach him an important concept. The father patiently waits for the boy to finish his work, and then has him remove each of the nails and explain the moral.
The wood will never return to its original state, even though we have tried to repair the damage and remove every single steel nail. For this reason, it is vital that we strive not to cause pain to others with our bad actions or harmful behaviors.
As for forgiveness, we need to be careful and make it clear that offering it does not entitle anyone to hurt us again. It is important to underline this aspect, because people often develop "bad habits" and hurt others simply by distraction.
We also need to be able to forgive ourselves if we have caused discomfort, conflict or pain to the people we love. We must recognize our mistakes and accept what we can and cannot change, learn from differences and live without remorse, without guilt and without hatred.
When we don't forgive, happiness and peace disappear from our lives and we become slaves to resentment and negative feelings, we get angry easily and foster rivalry. We can safely escape this by learning to ignore and forgive when it is right to do so.
