Wanting is not power. There is sometimes an insurmountable distance between a desire and its fulfillment. At the same time, desire, which sometimes tortures us, is also what makes us exist.
Last update: 24 November 2020
Wanting is not power. There is a distance, sometimes infinite, between desire and its fulfillment. For better or for worse, our mind does not govern reality. Our power is limited, our expectations fragile, the common, daily, costly mistake and it's a real stroke of luck when it makes us grow. When it is a base of support, not a slippery ground. Well no, wanting is not power.
Let's take love songs as an example: some are about excited hearts, others about broken hearts. Very often we are not who we would like because our attempts are fleeting. On the other hand, there are relationships that end, while love is still alive, which survives time and never subsides.
Desire and control, wanting is not power
Lack of control is not pathological, but obsession or certain strategies that pretend to be an adaptation are. Repetition gives us security, compulsion is the best food for anxiety.
Diagnostic manuals in the hands of a neophyte lead to exaggeration. We all step into a frame, much like our uncertain future can be described by the horoscope. Even a stopped clock strikes twice a day.
The difference between a broken heart and a whole heart is hope. Those who feed it live, those who do not die. That's why it's the last thing we lose, our last skin before we become ghosts. Without it we are just vulnerable. When we are heartbroken or entrust it to someone else, we are able to enter into intimacy.
We are all addicted or capable of giving everything if they touch the right strings of our heart. We are also capable of becoming selfish when we feel threatened or feel that we have been left alone to protect our interests.
We separate from the victim or the perpetrator, trying to find elements that distinguish us. However, social psychology tells us that under specific conditions all, or almost all of us, are capable of committing acts that at another time we would have censored. Fear is such a powerful emotion that it can make us deny our essence even more than three times. There are precipices that we prefer not to acknowledge exist. Therefore, wanting is not power.
When we talk about adolescence, we usually talk about the importance of equality, the value we place on feeling part of a group. Yet, on many occasions we forget that this motivation is always present throughout our life.
We refer to a motivation that also moves in the opposite direction: we can come to criticize an idea, regardless of its content, only because it is supported by a group to which we are not linked. A phenomenon that often occurs in politics.
The guilt, the fear, the open wounds, the words we keep to ourselves ... When our life does not go as we would like, we just have to imagine a parallel. Judging ourselves by knowing the consequences is a trap. Nobody wants to suffer, most suffer when they feel they have hurt someone else.
Forgetfulness is not irrefutable proof of lack of interest. Our memory is capricious and sometimes leaves words on the tip of our tongue. Our attention runs out quickly.
The values ​​that really matter
Honesty is perhaps the most scarce value. Everyone has been made fun of at least once in their life; we have experienced betrayals that have hurt us or we have believed ourselves crazy for wanting to be good.
There are several variables that are beyond our control and closely related to fate. In part, therefore, wanting is not power, there is no determinism in the final result.
Desire is desire or desire, but the other elements of the equation are also important. What resources do we have at our disposal? What margin do we have? Realism separates itself from pessimism when it offers us options.
Beyond the will there is no power
Wanting is not power, at least not necessarily. The fact remains that, sometimes, with our desire, we are able to obtain a Pygmalion effect or a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we think we will heal, we will be more faithful to the treatment they have prescribed for us. In this way we can face the competition or try to find solutions to the problems that arise.
Then it is really true that the impossibility deserves the possibility. We need to value intelligence in the decision-making process, our human side to overcome mistrust and bet on honesty or generosity in the face of selfishness, an easy answer when fear arises.
Wanting is not power; instead, loving is a sign of life. If hope is our last skin, desire is what allows us to exist.
